GAWT: Jemele Hill on Staying Unbothered, 2024 Recap

[00:00:00] That's how a lot of us feel, like it's above me now. Y'all got it. Y'all got it. Y'all got it. Don't ask us for the shit. We treat you like our mama treated us when we went in the grocery store. Don't look at shit, don't touch shit, don't ask for shit. Period.

[00:00:13] Hey everybody, it's Lonnie Love, comedian, actress, and Emmy-winning talk show host.

[00:00:23] And I'm Erika Montalfo, writer, showrunner, and most importantly, Lonnie's super fun sidekick.

[00:00:29] That's right. Erika, thank you all for joining us. Happy New Year everyone. We're starting the new year off right.

[00:00:37] In today's Grown-Ass topic, we'll be talking with Jemele Hill about remaining unbothered.

[00:00:44] But before we dive in, we want to give a shout out to all of our listeners who have been sending us emails and recordings.

[00:00:50] We love hearing from you guys. If you want to share your thoughts on the show or tell us what's on your mind,

[00:00:56] just send us a little voice note at gawtpod at gmail.com or send a record like a little voice memo.

[00:01:05] Just get on your phone and record it and you just send it to us at gawtpod.com.

[00:01:11] And if you're listening to us on your phone, follow us on Instagram. Also, we're on Facebook as well.

[00:01:18] If you're watching us on YouTube, please like and subscribe and please tell your friends to do the same.

[00:01:23] And finally, guys, we have a special request for our listeners. Going into this new year, we really want to reach a thousand YouTube subscribers.

[00:01:31] So help us out by subscribing to our channel and sharing our videos with your friends.

[00:01:35] And now that we've done all of that, let's catch up with Erika. Happy New Year again.

[00:01:41] Happy New Year.

[00:01:42] What's on your mind, Erika?

[00:01:44] Listen, I am so happy to say goodbye to 2024. It was quite a year, as you know.

[00:01:52] So I am looking forward to this new beginning.

[00:01:57] And, you know, again, we talked about the other day because it's been my birthday for the last month.

[00:02:02] I'm excited about this new nine of mine.

[00:02:06] So, you know, like every year, every decade you have the big zero birthday, but then you have the nine, which to me is more iconic because you're dreading the big zero.

[00:02:17] And so, you know, I'm just kind of looking forward to this year of nine.

[00:02:22] And with that said, I have, you know, I told you about this ex relationship that I have and we've kind of gotten to a place where we are very good and I'm taking care of his daughter right now.

[00:02:35] I was a stepmother for the moment while we were together.

[00:02:39] And now I'm getting to be stepmother to her again because she's coming back to stay with me for a little bit.

[00:02:44] And she is nine.

[00:02:45] So how ironic is that?

[00:02:47] This is her first nine and I'm in my many nines.

[00:02:51] So it'll be interesting to, you know, just go back and look at the first nine through her eyes.

[00:02:59] Wow.

[00:02:59] Well, so what am I going to, what am I going to do?

[00:03:01] I was going to ask you, Miss Lonnie, Miss Auntie, what do I do?

[00:03:04] Like I'm going to have her by myself.

[00:03:06] Oh, yeah.

[00:03:07] You're going to have a wonderful year.

[00:03:10] No, but I'm not having her for a year.

[00:03:12] I'm for overnight.

[00:03:13] What do I do?

[00:03:14] It's a good way to start your year though is through fresh innocent eyes.

[00:03:19] So, all right, Erica, enough about you and your nine year old.

[00:03:22] Thank you.

[00:03:24] Let's move on to our new segment, the grown as woman of the week.

[00:03:28] It's a way of spotlighting women, making a difference, whether it's someone in the community or a friend or even yourself.

[00:03:36] And this week, I wanted to highlight a woman that did a lot in 2024.

[00:03:40] It's philanthropist Mackenzie Scott.

[00:03:43] She's a billionaire, author and a philanthropist, but she has acknowledged to give me $2 billion in donations in a blog post.

[00:03:55] And since 2019, she has given $19.2 billion.

[00:04:02] Wow.

[00:04:04] And, you know, the thing is, is that she did this blog post and in it, she revealed new information about how she manages her wealth, saying that she has directed advisors to invest her funds into mission aligned ventures.

[00:04:18] Most of the grants that she made in 2024, she said, went to bolstering economic security and opportunities.

[00:04:27] And a lot of people have said that she is an amazing role model for philanthropists, because what she is doing is she is trying to fight poverty.

[00:04:37] I do know firsthand that for my HBCU, Mackenzie Scott donated $50 million to Prairie View A&M University.

[00:04:47] Yeah.

[00:04:48] And I had interviewed the then president at the time, and she said that she just gets a call.

[00:04:55] And it was a lady.

[00:04:57] It wasn't Mackenzie, but it was someone from her investment team.

[00:05:00] And she basically says, we're donating $50 million and there's no restrictions on it.

[00:05:07] And my, the president was like, wait, she thought, you know, cause 50 can sound like five, five, you know, like 5 million.

[00:05:16] There was no 50 million.

[00:05:18] And she's been doing this for since, like we said, 2019.

[00:05:24] Now, just to give you a little background, Mackenzie received her funds.

[00:05:29] She started Amazon with her then husband, Jeff Bezos.

[00:05:32] I was going to ask you, is that her, is that the Mackenzie Bezos?

[00:05:35] Yeah.

[00:05:35] Yeah.

[00:05:36] Yes.

[00:05:37] She started, um, and she, they started in their garage, Amazon, and they worked it up.

[00:05:43] They worked it together.

[00:05:44] And then when she got the divorce, she got so many billions of dollars.

[00:05:49] And so she decided she, she ended up, uh, writing books, but then in her heart, she says all this money that she has, she says, there's no way that I will be able to spend it all.

[00:06:02] And I'm going to commit to giving away billions of dollars, but to help, you know, um, fight poverty or she focuses on something every year.

[00:06:14] And she makes sure that her investment team, you know, targets it certain groups, certain people.

[00:06:21] And I just think it's a phenomenal thing to do because, you know, she could be one of these ladies that spends a bunch of money, um, just on herself and fabulous trips and things like that.

[00:06:32] But she wants to help make the world a better place.

[00:06:35] So I wanted to give our spotlight for grown ass woman of the week to actually for the year for 2024.

[00:06:44] Yeah.

[00:06:46] Mackenzie Scott, we love you.

[00:06:48] And if you ever find it in your heart, Mackenzie, that you want to talk about it, we're your girls, grown ass women.

[00:06:56] A hundred percent.

[00:06:56] Well, that's a grown ass woman move.

[00:06:58] Thank you for bringing her to our attention.

[00:07:00] And I think that's what I love about this.

[00:07:02] She does her philanthropy like on the DL, you know what I mean?

[00:07:06] She's not trying to get publicity.

[00:07:08] She's, you know, again, amassing a group of people who are targeting people who wouldn't necessarily be getting attention like the HBCU.

[00:07:17] So good on her.

[00:07:19] And listen, I mean, this is that's grown ass woman goals, quite frankly.

[00:07:23] That's that's how I want to move in the world for sure.

[00:07:26] Exactly.

[00:07:27] Well, we have a great episode for everyone today.

[00:07:30] We're going to get into a lot of stuff.

[00:07:32] We're going to be talking about the top pop culture moments and moments of 2024.

[00:07:37] We're also going to do our own picks for pop culture moments.

[00:07:43] I wonder if they'll be the same.

[00:07:44] I wonder if we'll have the same pick.

[00:07:45] I know it's going to be funny.

[00:07:47] And then we're going to do a little goal setting for 2025.

[00:07:51] And in today's grown ass topic, we're going to be joined by our friend Jamil Hill as we talk about remaining unbothered.

[00:07:58] So we'll get into all of that and more.

[00:08:00] This is grown ass women talking.

[00:08:01] Are you a grown ass woman with something to say?

[00:08:04] What are you unapologetic about?

[00:08:06] What's got you fired up?

[00:08:08] Are you thrilled the kids are back in school?

[00:08:10] Or are you mad at your friends for asking you out after 9pm?

[00:08:13] Did you get stood up on your third tender date this week?

[00:08:16] Whatever it is, let it all out.

[00:08:18] Visit our website at GAWTPod.com and leave us a voice message.

[00:08:25] That's GAWTPod.com or drop us a voice note at GAWTPod at gmail.com.

[00:08:34] We might just play your message on our next episode.

[00:08:37] But don't hold back.

[00:08:38] This is your space to talk about it.

[00:08:44] We're back with more GAWT.

[00:08:46] Now it's time for grown ass women news.

[00:08:49] Each week I'll get Erica's take on the week's entertainment news, current events, and news about grown ass women.

[00:08:56] And because this is the beginning of 2025, we wanted to kind of do a little rewind of what happened in 2024 with some pop culture moments.

[00:09:07] And you remember Erica who won the Super Bowl, right?

[00:09:13] The Kansas City Chiefs.

[00:09:15] First of all, I'm not sure I want to walk back down memory lane of 2024, but since you're dragging me, let's go.

[00:09:22] Well, the reason why this win with the Kansas City Chiefs was something phenomenal was because of Ms. Taylor Swift.

[00:09:30] Yes, that was a highlight.

[00:09:32] Oh my goodness, that was a highlight.

[00:09:34] I mean, and they have calmed down since then of always putting Taylor on the camera when the Chiefs play.

[00:09:43] So I think that's a good thing that we got out of it, you know?

[00:09:47] Well, listen, I mean, again, we're doing 2024. It's the year of Taylor, right? I mean, it's Tay Tay's year.

[00:09:54] Not only, I mean, she has bridged the gap between being the hugest pop star, going on tour, I mean, a worldwide tour, and then is still able to be at her boyfriend's at her booze game on Sunday.

[00:10:06] I mean, she's putting grown ass women to shame. Okay.

[00:10:09] Yeah, definitely.

[00:10:10] Like, if I told you I could only do one thing a day. So like, can you imagine?

[00:10:15] Yeah, she's great.

[00:10:17] So another grown ass woman that was highlighted for 2024 was Kate Middleton.

[00:10:23] She had announced her cancer diagnosis, along with King Charles III.

[00:10:29] It was in February that they had been diagnosed.

[00:10:33] And there were a bunch of rumors that were circulating about her health and her whereabouts.

[00:10:40] But for now, she is, she has gone through her cancer treatment, and she's good.

[00:10:46] And I think the way that she, she handled it to me like a grown ass woman.

[00:10:50] Yeah.

[00:10:51] You know, even though she is the princess, I think a lot of people were like, well, we got to know everything.

[00:10:55] And she chose to keep a lot of things to herself.

[00:10:59] She wanted to protect her children and her family.

[00:11:01] And I think that was a boss move.

[00:11:03] So, yeah.

[00:11:03] 100%.

[00:11:04] Absolutely.

[00:11:04] But I will say this, and I love Kate, I always have.

[00:11:07] But I do think she owes a little bit of that to Harry and Meghan.

[00:11:11] Because I think Harry and Meghan were the first ones to say, you know what, you all need to know our business.

[00:11:16] You know what I mean?

[00:11:17] Like, the press in the UK is brutal.

[00:11:21] And they had to take a stand and say, listen, you've got, you're not all in our business.

[00:11:24] And I think they were the, them taking that stand allowed Kate to be able to follow suit, you know.

[00:11:30] Because before she would have been obligated to kind of give the press all the information.

[00:11:34] But she's like, you know what, if they can do it, I can do it.

[00:11:37] I'm not going to tell you what my business is.

[00:11:39] We didn't even know she was sick for a while, right?

[00:11:42] And so, I think, again, I think that's the way the monarchy is moving, which I think good on them.

[00:11:46] Yeah.

[00:11:47] Also in 2024, Kaitlyn Clark and Angel Reese were drafted in the WNBA.

[00:11:54] Of course, Kaitlyn Clark had this historic run at the University of Iowa.

[00:12:00] She was drafted number one by the Indiana Fever.

[00:12:03] Meanwhile, Angel Reese, she led LSU to a championship.

[00:12:09] And she was drafted by the Chicago Sky.

[00:12:12] And these two women, along with the other ladies, have really changed the face of the WNBA.

[00:12:20] Whereas more people are coming to see them.

[00:12:23] But not only that, the pay is increasing for the players.

[00:12:28] And I think it's a good thing that happened for 2024.

[00:12:31] And those are some grown-ass women.

[00:12:33] I mean, listen, the pay is not increasing enough.

[00:12:35] I think that they're getting their due when it comes to endorsements, which is good.

[00:12:41] So maybe they're getting compensated that way.

[00:12:42] But they really do need to pay these women more because they are putting people in the seats now.

[00:12:47] And my only thing about them, their rivalry, which I think obviously got a lot of people interested.

[00:12:52] I am happy to see that they now, you see them together taking pictures.

[00:12:57] You see them celebrating outside of the court.

[00:12:58] Because once you're on the court, yeah, we're rivals.

[00:13:01] But once we're off, we're grown-ass women and we support each other.

[00:13:04] Definitely.

[00:13:06] And Caitlyn did this interview where she, you know, actually gave homage to black women in the WNBA

[00:13:13] and saying how, you know, this franchise was built on them.

[00:13:18] And she recognizes that.

[00:13:20] And she recognizes her privilege.

[00:13:21] So, you know, there's just some grown-ass women moves between those two.

[00:13:25] And I'm just happy to see that.

[00:13:27] Also, Drake versus Kendrick Lamar was a big thing in 2024.

[00:13:31] Oh, boy.

[00:13:31] There's been a lot of tension between Kendrick and Drake, but the rappers aired out their grievances

[00:13:38] with all these different collaborations.

[00:13:42] And, you know, it just gave us this great year of diss tracks.

[00:13:50] Me and Corona Bay got in a huge fight about Drake versus Kendrick because Corona Bay is,

[00:13:56] loves him some Drake.

[00:13:57] Like that's his dude.

[00:13:58] And I love Kendrick.

[00:13:59] But it wasn't about like whose side are we on?

[00:14:01] It was about, he was kind of dissing Kendrick in that, well, you know, it's easy to go to that place.

[00:14:06] And like, I don't like when you talk about, you know, calling someone not black enough.

[00:14:10] And so, because he, you know, he's, he's Latino and he gets called not Latino enough.

[00:14:15] I get called not black enough.

[00:14:16] So I understand that.

[00:14:18] He was trying to mansplain to me like rap beefs, you know, and why this one wasn't fair.

[00:14:24] And so I was trying to explain to him colorism and why I don't like that, but, but how, you know, what that song meant.

[00:14:31] And we should never have gone there is my point.

[00:14:35] There's no Corona Bay.

[00:14:38] You see what Kendrick and Erica, you see what Kendrick and Drake are doing there.

[00:14:43] They're causing all kinds of beefs.

[00:14:45] Moving on.

[00:14:46] Love Island USA became a phenomenon.

[00:14:49] See, Love Island USA was mostly in the shadows of Love Island UK, but it stepped into the spotlight in the summer of 2024 with a sixth season.

[00:14:59] The Peacock reality show became the most must see, most watched show of the summer as viewers became invested in the drama, the friendships and the relationships.

[00:15:11] So it's nice to see, you know, I like to see young, hot people in bikinis and I can think, wow, I used to look like that.

[00:15:21] Listen, who doesn't want to see that?

[00:15:24] Can I tell you though?

[00:15:25] Cause I, you know me, I love me some ratchet reality TV.

[00:15:27] I'm all about it.

[00:15:29] But I, for some reason I fell off of this, this season.

[00:15:32] Cause I I'd watched it before, but I think there's so many things to watch.

[00:15:35] And then you forget you're watching one thing, you know what I mean?

[00:15:38] Yeah.

[00:15:38] And then you're like, Oh shoot, I forgot about Love Island.

[00:15:40] Now I'm watching Ultimatum or watching the love is blind or are you like, you get, go.

[00:15:45] It's a lot happening.

[00:15:46] So much streaming, you know, uh, we also had the Paris Olympics, 2024 team USA dominated the 2024 Paris Olympics with 40 gold medals.

[00:15:58] And 126 total for the most out of any country.

[00:16:04] And we had the U S star athletes like Simone Biles, LeBron James, Steph Curry, Katie Ledecky, um, uh, Shaqari, uh, did her first Olympics, uh, Noah Lyles.

[00:16:18] And, um, it spun a lot of means, a lot of moments and, um, it was, but it was wonderful.

[00:16:25] I think, I think the break dancing, um, event was maybe the most talked about with that girl, Ray Gunn.

[00:16:33] And, um, unfortunately the, they're, they're not going to have it for the 20, 24, 25, 26, 28 Olympics.

[00:16:42] Cause she ruined it for everybody.

[00:16:44] She ruined it for everybody.

[00:16:45] She messed it up for everybody.

[00:16:47] It gave you one girl.

[00:16:49] It gave you one job, Ray Gunn.

[00:16:50] And then you blew it.

[00:16:51] It was like, uh, uh, no more break dancing in the Olympics.

[00:16:54] So at least not LA.

[00:16:57] So, and you know, who was a, uh, a highlight too was Snoop Dogg during the Olympics.

[00:17:02] That coverage was just great.

[00:17:05] Also that pole vaulter, you loved him.

[00:17:07] Cause, um, I'll never forget him.

[00:17:10] Balls got in the way.

[00:17:11] I will never forget him.

[00:17:12] It was a lot happening.

[00:17:14] Well, don't you think, I mean, doesn't it seem like it was forever ago?

[00:17:18] Can you believe that was this year?

[00:17:19] It seemed like you, I'm like, literally, I can't believe that happened.

[00:17:22] That's why I had to take you back and let you remember.

[00:17:25] I had gotten over.

[00:17:26] I had gotten over that break dancing and moved on.

[00:17:28] Now I'm back and traumatized by that.

[00:17:30] But don't also don't forget Flavor Flav.

[00:17:33] Oh yeah.

[00:17:34] Our other ambassador to, uh, to Paris.

[00:17:38] Flavor Flav has been a gem all of 2024.

[00:17:40] He was the number one.

[00:17:43] Uh, he was in the Olympics, but he was also number one with holding Taylor Swift down.

[00:17:49] That's right.

[00:17:49] Um, that's your boy.

[00:17:50] He's the hype man of the world.

[00:17:53] That's his thing.

[00:17:54] Something else you probably forgot.

[00:17:55] Jennifer Lopez filed for divorce from Ben Affleck.

[00:17:59] I did not forget that.

[00:18:00] That is, that's in my wheelhouse.

[00:18:02] After two years of marriage, they divorced.

[00:18:05] She released a new album and a documentary about her love story with Ben.

[00:18:11] And then she said, nope, it's all gone.

[00:18:15] You know, so.

[00:18:16] Did she say nope or did he say nope?

[00:18:18] I think he's the one who said nope.

[00:18:20] Somebody said nope.

[00:18:21] She was holding on for dear life.

[00:18:23] And that's, we talked about this when it happened.

[00:18:25] I said, Lonnie Love, you do not make a movie about your love story while it's trying to be happening.

[00:18:31] She was trying.

[00:18:33] As we keep going, Sean Diddy Combs was arrested in September.

[00:18:38] The U.S. Attorney's Office in New York reported that he had been arrested following multiple sexual assault and misconduct lawsuits filed against him.

[00:18:48] He was charged with racketeering, sex trafficking, transportation for the purposes of prostitution.

[00:18:54] And he has been denied bail.

[00:18:57] He will not go to trial until May of 2025.

[00:19:01] And he has been asking for bail, but now he has given up.

[00:19:05] He's just going to wait until his trial.

[00:19:07] So we'll see what happens with that.

[00:19:09] Well, I feel, first of all, I feel like this is going to be a story for all of 2025, too.

[00:19:14] This is not going away anytime soon.

[00:19:16] And it is, personally, I will never buy baby oil again.

[00:19:20] That's all I'm saying.

[00:19:22] Never.

[00:19:23] God.

[00:19:23] Never.

[00:19:24] Not one bottle.

[00:19:25] Not again.

[00:19:26] No, I'll be ashy AF.

[00:19:28] Oh, my goodness.

[00:19:29] I'd rather be ashy.

[00:19:31] Well, in sports, Jake Paul defeated Mike Tyson.

[00:19:36] It was a delayed boxing match between Mike Tyson and Jake Paul, but it finally happened in November at the AT&T Stadium.

[00:19:45] And there was a lot of fuss because it was a live Netflix event.

[00:19:50] I remember watching it.

[00:19:52] It was a lot of buffering going on.

[00:19:54] Over, like, 64 million people tuned in.

[00:20:00] And, you know, the viewers were disappointed to see that Tyson barely landed any punches against Jake Paul during the eight rounds.

[00:20:08] Paul was declared the winner by the three judges in an unanimous decision.

[00:20:15] Did you watch it?

[00:20:16] I did.

[00:20:16] I remember I told you you were shocked, but I did watch it.

[00:20:18] I like boxing.

[00:20:19] I like sports.

[00:20:21] But I will say, and this is what I said at the time, I think Mike Tyson clocked Jake Paul at one point in that first round.

[00:20:29] And you saw the look on his face was like, dude, you're not supposed to hit me like that.

[00:20:34] And then for the rest of the fight, Mike Tyson didn't hit him again.

[00:20:38] So I think, I mean, it was so clear to me that the fix was in, you know.

[00:20:43] But I'm not mad at him.

[00:20:44] Listen, go get your money, Mike Tyson.

[00:20:46] I mean, stay relevant.

[00:20:48] You know, it is what it is.

[00:20:49] He made the money.

[00:20:49] So I'm also moving along.

[00:20:52] Glicked, the sequel to Boppenheimer, delivered as the release of Wicked and Gladiator 2 on the same day lit up the box office.

[00:21:01] So Cynthia Erivo and Ariana Grande defied gravity and built an unbreakable friendship with their musical delighting all the audiences.

[00:21:09] And meanwhile, Denzel and Paul Mescal and Pedro Pascal traveled to ancient Rome for the sequence to Gladiator.

[00:21:20] And both movies were successful.

[00:21:21] But Wicked made history with this $114 million debut at the domestic box office, the biggest ever for a Broadway adaption, according to CNBC.

[00:21:33] Have you seen any of those movies yet?

[00:21:36] No, but I have them now.

[00:21:37] You know I have not.

[00:21:39] But I have them on screeners now, so I'm going to wait to watch Wicked with my nine-year-old.

[00:21:43] That'll be a good thing for us to do.

[00:21:44] That'll be good.

[00:21:45] Yeah.

[00:21:45] She'll like that.

[00:21:46] That'll be good.

[00:21:47] And lastly, everything must come to an end.

[00:21:51] The Ares tour came to an end nearly two years after Taylor Swift welcomed fans to her tour.

[00:22:00] She took her final bow on her last concert.

[00:22:03] It traveled five continents, including 149 shows, making it the highest grossing concert tour of all time.

[00:22:11] And it ended in Vancouver in December.

[00:22:14] I love that she ended up her year near her birthday putting an exclamation point on the fantastic 2024 that she's had.

[00:22:24] And I will predict in 2025 there will be a proposal.

[00:22:28] Okay.

[00:22:29] Bold proposal.

[00:22:30] All right.

[00:22:31] With that said, I wanted to do something a little bit different.

[00:22:34] I wanted to ask Erica and our editor and our producer, Siege.

[00:22:40] You know, it was a big year in songs and music and also movies.

[00:22:45] So I want to ask you first, Erica, what was your favorite song of 2024?

[00:22:50] Well, we already discussed the beef between Kendrick and Drake.

[00:22:54] So I go Kendrick.

[00:22:55] I go, they not like us because I'm an L.A. girl and I represent for, you know, my hood.

[00:23:03] All right.

[00:23:04] Mm-hmm.

[00:23:04] Okay.

[00:23:05] Editor Nick says his favorite song was anything from Cowboy Carter, especially Levi jeans.

[00:23:11] Okay, Nick.

[00:23:12] That was so cute.

[00:23:15] Wow.

[00:23:15] That's Adam Lethfield.

[00:23:17] I didn't know that.

[00:23:18] You didn't see?

[00:23:19] You never know.

[00:23:20] Wow.

[00:23:20] Now, what do you think?

[00:23:21] What do you think Siege picked?

[00:23:23] I mean.

[00:23:25] Siege, he picked Espresso by Sabrina Carpenter.

[00:23:28] Okay.

[00:23:29] Also, he said, but he had a B.

[00:23:32] He said, not like us.

[00:23:33] Okay, Siege.

[00:23:33] So it was like, he gangster and he's like pop.

[00:23:37] That's Siege.

[00:23:38] He's pop gangster.

[00:23:39] That's our guy.

[00:23:40] That's our guy, Siege.

[00:23:41] My favorite song, it was Kendrick, but it was TV Off.

[00:23:47] I like TV Off.

[00:23:49] For everybody, Kendrick, he dropped a surprise album.

[00:23:55] It's called GNX.

[00:23:57] It stands for Grand National, which is a car.

[00:24:02] And so if you look at the cover, he's in front of the car, which is a Buick Grand National.

[00:24:08] And he references it that that's all he ever wanted.

[00:24:12] I love that he is this great lyricist.

[00:24:16] And he's making so many points that you have to keep listening and listening and listening.

[00:24:21] But he's great.

[00:24:22] So I think we're all kind of like in the same vein when it came to the favorite song of 2024.

[00:24:28] Anything by Kendrick.

[00:24:29] Absolutely.

[00:24:29] And a little bit of Sabrina.

[00:24:30] And don't forget Beyonce.

[00:24:32] Beyonce.

[00:24:33] Yes.

[00:24:33] Favorite movie for 2024.

[00:24:36] Okay.

[00:24:37] First of all, like I said, I haven't seen half of them.

[00:24:40] But the two movies I have seen have traumatized me.

[00:24:44] So even though I didn't love them, they will always stay with me.

[00:24:47] And I told you about The Substance and Demi Moore and how I had to almost walk out of the movie.

[00:24:53] Because that was crazy.

[00:24:55] But I do understand and I appreciate the theme, which is being aged out of Hollywood.

[00:25:01] Because hello, we're right up here being grown ass women.

[00:25:05] This could have been us.

[00:25:06] And then I just saw Heretic with Hugh Grant.

[00:25:09] Who, meanwhile, don't sleep on Hugh Grant.

[00:25:12] Hugh Grant is really good.

[00:25:13] I mean, obviously we know he's a good actor.

[00:25:15] But he plays a dark ass character in this movie.

[00:25:18] And it's so good.

[00:25:20] Really?

[00:25:21] Yeah.

[00:25:22] And the same way I loved, not love, but I appreciate the substance.

[00:25:26] I appreciate this movie.

[00:25:27] Again, it's another horror movie, which I don't like.

[00:25:29] But the theme is religion.

[00:25:32] And it is, I mean, he basically kind of kidnaps these women who are on a mission.

[00:25:39] They're like, not Jehovah's Witnesses.

[00:25:42] They're like Mormons, you know, trying to recruit people.

[00:25:46] And so him being a person who's not religious basically kidnaps them and makes them make an argument for their religion.

[00:25:55] And it's a whole thing.

[00:25:57] But it's that kind of horror movie that you love because it's intellectual.

[00:26:00] And it makes you think about, yeah, what is religion?

[00:26:03] Why are we accepting these truths that people have, you know, our families have indoctrinated us?

[00:26:10] So I would check it out.

[00:26:11] Again, I hate horror movies.

[00:26:12] I didn't love the experience.

[00:26:14] But I appreciate what they're trying to do.

[00:26:17] Oh, wow.

[00:26:18] Well, our crew, editor Nick, his movie was Deadpool versus Wolverine starring Ryan Wendels and Hugh Jackman.

[00:26:27] And produces seeds like Challengers starring Zendaya and Mike Feist and Josh O'Connor.

[00:26:35] So those are good.

[00:26:37] And my movie is a movie that maybe you and the nine-year-old could watch together.

[00:26:42] It's directed by Tina Mayberry.

[00:26:44] It's called The Supremes and Earls All You Can Eat.

[00:26:48] It's a wonderful movie.

[00:26:50] It's a period, you know, based like in the 60s.

[00:26:54] And it's about three friends.

[00:26:56] It stars Sanai Latham, Uzo Adubo, and Anjanu Ellis Taylor.

[00:27:03] And I really like that the way they set this movie up.

[00:27:07] It's a lot of lessons, but it's fun.

[00:27:09] And it was just a wonderful comedy and drama.

[00:27:13] And, of course, Anjanu is great in it.

[00:27:15] Of course.

[00:27:17] She's just phenomenal.

[00:27:18] And I love Sanai, too.

[00:27:20] I love Sanai, too.

[00:27:21] I know.

[00:27:21] It was good seeing her and seeing all of them.

[00:27:24] She was my neighbor.

[00:27:25] We lived next door to each other for 10 years.

[00:27:28] Really?

[00:27:28] We're a block away from each other.

[00:27:29] And her father directed my first pilot.

[00:27:32] So, yeah.

[00:27:32] Oh!

[00:27:33] The great Stan Latham.

[00:27:36] Yes.

[00:27:36] The legendary Stan Latham.

[00:27:38] Legendary, darling.

[00:27:40] But those are our faves.

[00:27:42] Remember, you can let us know.

[00:27:44] We'll put it on Instagram or let us know with a little voice note what your faves are.

[00:27:51] And, also, before we go, I wanted to talk about, you know, this is a new year.

[00:27:57] And we all have hopes and dreams.

[00:28:00] What are you looking forward to in 2025, Miss Erica?

[00:28:05] Well, again, I think the great thing about, well, first of all, the bad thing about having your birthday at the end of the year in December is, like, you get one Christmas present, right?

[00:28:13] People try to keep out.

[00:28:15] So, that's the sucky part.

[00:28:17] But the good part is, it's a really great way to reflect not only on, you know, the year that you've spent, but that year of your life, right?

[00:28:24] Another, you know, year on the planet.

[00:28:27] And so, I feel, again, that this year of, going into this year of my nine, I'm very excited to kind of explore the singleness of it all.

[00:28:40] Because we talked about, this is my first nine being single, but all my nines have been married for the most part.

[00:28:47] Not my first nine, but the last few nines.

[00:28:49] So, I'm excited about single.

[00:28:51] I don't need to be booed up.

[00:28:53] You know what I mean?

[00:28:53] I don't want to, we talked about the bad boys out there.

[00:28:56] I don't need any Luigis.

[00:28:58] I don't need any pampooses.

[00:29:01] Like, I'm just trying.

[00:29:03] I'm just trying to do Erica right now.

[00:29:05] So, I'm going to be focused on being creative.

[00:29:07] I have some really exciting projects that are starting this year.

[00:29:11] So, I'm excited to get started on those.

[00:29:13] And keep the boys kind of out of my brain.

[00:29:15] And focus on myself and my creative, you know, endeavors and my career.

[00:29:21] Definitely.

[00:29:22] I think that's what I look forward to in 2025.

[00:29:26] 2024 was a bad year.

[00:29:29] I lost my mom.

[00:29:30] I lost a lot of opportunities because of the strike and because of the economy.

[00:29:36] And so, I'm just happy and grateful that I was able to get through 2024.

[00:29:41] So, I'm looking at 2025 as more opportunities.

[00:29:46] Hopefully, you know, things will open up a lot more.

[00:29:51] Politically, I just think we have to stay strong.

[00:29:54] And, you know, make sure that we still speak up and we still fight.

[00:30:00] And not be afraid to speak up and fight when we see things that are going wrong.

[00:30:05] But also, I just want to, you know, be just happy.

[00:30:10] And so, that's why I'm going back out on the road, talking to people, writing jokes, making people laugh, and entertaining people.

[00:30:18] That is what we do ultimately.

[00:30:21] That's why we started this podcast.

[00:30:23] We wanted to highlight women.

[00:30:25] We wanted to make women laugh.

[00:30:26] And that's what I look forward to doing more of in 2025.

[00:30:31] A hundred percent.

[00:30:32] Can I just add on to that?

[00:30:33] That I think, yeah, it was a crap, not a crap year.

[00:30:35] It was a difficult year, I think, you know, all around.

[00:30:38] But I think, you know, making lemons into lemonade is something that we can take away from this.

[00:30:43] And I think that's what I think of this podcast as.

[00:30:45] Like, you and I, you know, came together career-wise to do something that didn't get to happen because of the strike.

[00:30:52] But then we turned it into this.

[00:30:54] And I am so happy to have our friendship and to have this platform for women to come in and be grown ass and talk about what's important to them.

[00:31:03] And I'm proud of it.

[00:31:04] And I hope we continue to do it in 2025.

[00:31:07] Definitely.

[00:31:08] And I think that also in 2025, I am going to lean into more of being unbothered.

[00:31:14] Unbothered by a lot of things.

[00:31:16] Because if you're not, it'll drive you crazy.

[00:31:20] Yeah, for sure.

[00:31:21] What's happening politically, what's happening socially, online, things that, you know, I could just brush off my shoulder.

[00:31:30] I'm going to really work on that.

[00:31:34] And so this is a great episode for us to really lean into that because we're going to be talking to Jamil Hill about being unbothered.

[00:31:43] So we're going to take a quick break and we'll come back.

[00:31:46] We're going to jump into that topic with our girl, Jamil Hill.

[00:31:49] This is Grown Ass Women Talking.

[00:31:50] What's up, everybody?

[00:31:51] This is Jamil Hill and this is Grown Ass Women Talking.

[00:31:59] Today's guest is an Emmy-winning journalist, author, and co-founder of Lodge Freeway Media.

[00:32:06] She made her mark as a national columnist and television personality on ESPN SportsCenter, First Take, and more.

[00:32:14] Jamil's groundbreaking work includes producing the ESPN documentary on Colin Kaepernick

[00:32:20] and earning the NABJ's Journalist of the Year Award in 2018.

[00:32:25] She's the creator and host of the Webby Award-winning podcast, Jamil Hill is Unbothered,

[00:32:32] featuring thought-provoking conversations with lawmakers, newsmakers, all across entertainment, politics, and culture.

[00:32:39] Now, she also has a new show, because she keep a job, on TNT Sports called Above the Fold,

[00:32:47] which will delve into the important stories and topics centered on the connection between sports and culture,

[00:32:53] as well as her new podcast, Politics on iHeart.

[00:32:57] Please welcome my girl, Jamil Hill.

[00:32:59] Hello!

[00:33:00] Hey, what's going on, ladies?

[00:33:02] I'm so happy to be with you.

[00:33:04] Oh, it's been a while, sis, and you're still busy.

[00:33:07] How's it been?

[00:33:09] Oof.

[00:33:09] Like you said, very busy.

[00:33:12] To those out there, I do not recommend starting a television show and a new podcast at the same time.

[00:33:20] Girl!

[00:33:20] Because they debuted within a week of each other.

[00:33:23] So, but Politics debuted on iHeart October 17th, and then the show Above the Fold debuted on True TV,

[00:33:32] which is a Turner Sports operation.

[00:33:34] So, just so you're not like, did I say the wrong network?

[00:33:36] No, it's all Turner Sports, which debuted on True TV on October 22nd.

[00:33:41] So, it has been a grind.

[00:33:45] You love it, though.

[00:33:46] I mean, you've always been hustling, and I like the way you can mix the politics with the sports, with the journalism.

[00:33:54] How does that work for you?

[00:33:57] So, especially, you know, we all know this was a very important election year,

[00:34:00] and the great thing about sports is that it's one of the few things we do together, if you think about it.

[00:34:05] Like, we're a very segregated country, but all of us, despite our different backgrounds,

[00:34:12] our different economic situations, if we're all Detroit Pistons fans, we're all Detroit Pistons fans, right?

[00:34:19] And so, sports gives you a unique opportunity of togetherness.

[00:34:23] So, what I'm doing is sort of looking at political issues sort of through the lens of sports.

[00:34:29] And, you know, just as an example, you know, I have a recent episode that's out currently

[00:34:37] where I'm looking at the politics of sort of American basketball.

[00:34:41] You know, there's, on the night of, the first night of the NBA, there was a record-tying 175 international players

[00:34:48] and representing over 70 countries.

[00:34:52] And this is the most international the league has ever been.

[00:34:56] And, you know, there's been some complaints about that from people that maybe it's changing the culture.

[00:35:03] Having so many international players is changing the culture of American basketball

[00:35:09] or changing what the face of American basketball looks like when you have the last six NBA MVPs

[00:35:14] have all been foreign-born players.

[00:35:16] So, what is this conversation sort of loosely about?

[00:35:20] Immigration.

[00:35:21] So...

[00:35:21] And race in a weird way because, I mean, obviously...

[00:35:24] And race.

[00:35:24] Oh, no.

[00:35:25] Not even in a weird way.

[00:35:26] Like, yes, it's very much about race because it's not...

[00:35:30] We're not just talking about American basketball.

[00:35:32] We're talking about a league and a sport dominated by black people.

[00:35:36] Absolutely.

[00:35:37] And so, suddenly, even though Giannis is obviously black, he's not black American.

[00:35:40] He's, you know, he grew up in Greece.

[00:35:42] But we're looking at a different sort of...

[00:35:46] A different context to American basketball than we've seen.

[00:35:50] So, it's just taking that and, you know,

[00:35:52] even looking at what a second Donald Trump presidency will mean for sports.

[00:35:57] You know, he's been threatening to close the Department of Education.

[00:36:00] Well, Title IX is under the Department of Education,

[00:36:04] which is the single most important piece of legislation for female athletes.

[00:36:08] And bringing that back to the WNBA,

[00:36:10] and that's a racial thing going on right now, too.

[00:36:12] So, they're all kind of all intertwined.

[00:36:14] Yeah, it's all kind of issues.

[00:36:15] It's all intertwined.

[00:36:16] So, this is me helping you connect the dots.

[00:36:18] And Above the Fold is not similar because it's not about politics.

[00:36:23] It is about sports.

[00:36:25] But the term Above the Fold...

[00:36:26] So, my background is in newspapers.

[00:36:29] I was a sports reporter for newspapers for a long time,

[00:36:32] for 10 years before I even got to ESPN.

[00:36:34] I was a sports writer and a sports columnist.

[00:36:36] So, the term Above the Fold, if you look at a paper,

[00:36:39] all the stories above the fold are supposed to be the most important ones.

[00:36:43] So, this is us telling you, you know,

[00:36:46] sort of dissecting the most important stories in sports that week.

[00:36:49] We also have reporters in the field that are, you know,

[00:36:51] reporting on stories you may not be aware of,

[00:36:55] doing deep dive interviews with people.

[00:36:57] So, it's more of a nod to sort of traditional journalism.

[00:37:01] Oh, I love it.

[00:37:03] And how's it going so far, the show?

[00:37:05] Above the Fold?

[00:37:06] The show is going well.

[00:37:08] And, you know, I'm really happy with where we are.

[00:37:11] But, I mean, you guys know this being in media

[00:37:13] and especially being in TV.

[00:37:15] The show that you are on the very first day you started

[00:37:17] is not the show that you are a year later.

[00:37:19] Right?

[00:37:20] It's the truth.

[00:37:21] Yes.

[00:37:22] It's constantly evolving.

[00:37:23] You're constantly tinkering.

[00:37:25] You're figuring out what works.

[00:37:26] Yeah, you've got to find the show.

[00:37:26] You've got to find it.

[00:37:27] You've got to find the show.

[00:37:28] Like, even if you come into it with, like,

[00:37:31] this is what the show is about,

[00:37:32] something else may be revealed along the way.

[00:37:34] Where you're like, oh, no,

[00:37:36] this might be what the show is about.

[00:37:37] This might be our lane.

[00:37:38] So, I'm really happy with the progress of the show.

[00:37:41] I kind of had to get my sea legs back

[00:37:43] because I hadn't been doing sort of routine television

[00:37:47] since, I think, 2021.

[00:37:50] And so, getting back in the mix of, you know,

[00:37:53] even though it's a weekly show that's prerecorded,

[00:37:56] it makes me laugh because I'm like,

[00:37:58] I used to do this every day for five years

[00:38:01] and do it live, right?

[00:38:03] And then, especially doing SportsCenter,

[00:38:05] that's like a whole different boot camp of doing television.

[00:38:10] So, now I'm just trying to get my sea legs back,

[00:38:13] you know, get my conditioning up, so to speak.

[00:38:15] Right, right.

[00:38:16] So that, you know, I can deliver these hot takes

[00:38:19] to people on a weekly basis.

[00:38:20] Well, it's nice that they see,

[00:38:22] I mean, listen, in television,

[00:38:23] it's hard now to have people who have faith in you

[00:38:26] and give you a chance to find your show.

[00:38:28] So, it sounds like they have faith in you

[00:38:30] because you're a beast

[00:38:31] and they're letting you take your time

[00:38:32] to find out, you know, what your jam is.

[00:38:36] Yeah, I'm glad you said that, though,

[00:38:37] because I think that's the part of TV

[00:38:39] that if you're a viewer at home,

[00:38:41] you don't really understand that part

[00:38:42] is that TV is a fickle business.

[00:38:44] I mean, it is.

[00:38:45] And especially now in this climate,

[00:38:48] being able to make anything right now is a win.

[00:38:51] Living in LA now, man, I appreciate,

[00:38:54] I don't care if it's crap.

[00:38:55] Like, you got it made, you got it made, man.

[00:38:57] Like, I give you credit right now.

[00:39:00] Like, somebody actually put it on their platform,

[00:39:03] congratulations.

[00:39:03] Congratulations.

[00:39:04] Yeah, it's a win is a win no matter what.

[00:39:07] So, you know,

[00:39:08] and that's why we have you here

[00:39:10] for today's grown-ass topic.

[00:39:11] We're remaining unbothered.

[00:39:13] Ooh!

[00:39:14] In a world where everyone seems to have an opinion

[00:39:17] about everything,

[00:39:18] we're encouraging our grown-ass women to let it be.

[00:39:21] Whether it's embracing imperfections,

[00:39:24] mastering the art of dialogue,

[00:39:25] finding joy in the little things,

[00:39:27] or simply not giving a damn,

[00:39:29] we're rejecting burnout

[00:39:31] and celebrating the beauty of truly being unbothered.

[00:39:34] So let's talk about it.

[00:39:36] How to let it go, level up,

[00:39:37] and live with less stress.

[00:39:39] And then, Jamil, girl,

[00:39:43] it's been a year.

[00:39:45] It's on you.

[00:39:45] Why is it that, like,

[00:39:47] all you had to do was sigh,

[00:39:49] and I could relate.

[00:39:49] I was like, yo, girl, yes.

[00:39:52] All of that, yes.

[00:39:53] That sigh spoke to my spirit.

[00:39:55] What does unbothered mean in your life?

[00:39:58] So for me, you know,

[00:39:59] it's a big reason why I named my podcast

[00:40:02] Jamil Hill as Unbothered,

[00:40:04] is I'd reached that point in my life

[00:40:06] and in my career

[00:40:07] where the opinions of other people

[00:40:10] no longer serve me, you know.

[00:40:12] And, of course,

[00:40:13] you care about remaining professionally capable

[00:40:16] and, you know,

[00:40:18] still continue to grow professionally.

[00:40:19] So it wasn't,

[00:40:20] I wasn't saying I didn't want to do those things.

[00:40:22] But what I was saying is that

[00:40:24] this idea of doing things for the validation

[00:40:26] and the service of other people

[00:40:28] was done.

[00:40:29] And it felt like

[00:40:31] it would have been done for a while.

[00:40:32] So I can't say

[00:40:33] that I had just gotten to that point

[00:40:35] when that happened

[00:40:36] because, as you all know,

[00:40:37] as you get older,

[00:40:38] it's kind of a buildup.

[00:40:39] You know,

[00:40:40] when you're in your 20s,

[00:40:41] you give all the you-know-whats.

[00:40:43] By the time you get to your 30s,

[00:40:45] it's different.

[00:40:45] Then when you get to your 40s,

[00:40:46] you're like, I'm out.

[00:40:48] I ain't got none.

[00:40:48] I don't know where you are.

[00:40:50] Exactly.

[00:40:50] I'm out, right?

[00:40:51] Like, I ain't even trying to find none.

[00:40:53] I don't want none from Amazon.

[00:40:55] I ain't ordering none.

[00:40:56] Like, I don't have none.

[00:40:58] Zero.

[00:40:59] So I wanted to kind of celebrate

[00:41:02] the liberation of that feeling.

[00:41:04] And that's why I named the podcast that.

[00:41:06] And so for me,

[00:41:08] being unbothered

[00:41:09] is being rooted in your identity,

[00:41:11] rooted in your truth,

[00:41:13] and rooted in your vulnerability

[00:41:15] because I think part of that

[00:41:17] is admitting,

[00:41:18] hey, I don't have the bandwidth for that.

[00:41:20] Hey, I can't do that.

[00:41:21] The answer is no.

[00:41:22] Like, that to me is part of the authenticity

[00:41:24] of being unbothered

[00:41:25] is being able to effectively communicate

[00:41:28] all the places people got you messed up at.

[00:41:31] So...

[00:41:32] I love that you said that

[00:41:34] about the vulnerability part

[00:41:35] because I think to your point,

[00:41:36] through the decades,

[00:41:37] like, I remember like when I was married,

[00:41:39] I used to be so, you know,

[00:41:41] worried about having like,

[00:41:42] you know, families over for dinner

[00:41:44] or for the holidays.

[00:41:45] Everything had to be perfect.

[00:41:46] And I'm totally OCD when it comes to that.

[00:41:48] And I end up not having any fun,

[00:41:50] not talking to anyone.

[00:41:51] Now that I'm older and divorced,

[00:41:54] that's part of it.

[00:41:55] Twice.

[00:41:56] Twice.

[00:41:58] You had to throw that in there a lot.

[00:41:59] You were like twice.

[00:42:01] Shade.

[00:42:02] All the shade machine.

[00:42:03] I do.

[00:42:03] That was subtle though.

[00:42:04] No, not subtle.

[00:42:06] Not subtle?

[00:42:07] That was aggressive.

[00:42:09] That was an aggressive thing.

[00:42:10] Yes.

[00:42:10] But...

[00:42:11] She's looking for that third one too, so...

[00:42:13] Listen.

[00:42:14] But to your point,

[00:42:15] I think that like this Thanksgiving,

[00:42:17] I'm just like,

[00:42:17] I don't give a fuck.

[00:42:19] You know what I mean?

[00:42:19] Like here's...

[00:42:20] I'm ordering food,

[00:42:21] like it or not.

[00:42:22] Girl, live your life!

[00:42:24] Listen, I mean like,

[00:42:24] but as we get older,

[00:42:25] we grown-ass women,

[00:42:26] it's like we don't care as much

[00:42:28] about what people think about us.

[00:42:29] And it's not...

[00:42:30] That doesn't fuel our self-esteem anymore

[00:42:33] where it did before, I think.

[00:42:35] Yeah, but there's an art to it though.

[00:42:38] It is.

[00:42:38] There's an art.

[00:42:39] So I'm trying to understand

[00:42:41] because Jamil,

[00:42:42] I think you're the queen.

[00:42:43] Like, I mean of being unbothered.

[00:42:46] You know,

[00:42:47] it's like pulling out the negativity,

[00:42:50] you know,

[00:42:50] tuning it out,

[00:42:52] the unnecessary drama.

[00:42:53] You are the queen of that.

[00:42:55] And so we need advice

[00:42:58] because it's a lot of us that still,

[00:43:00] we still dealing with this.

[00:43:02] And, you know,

[00:43:03] and we still let things bother us,

[00:43:05] whether it's our kids,

[00:43:06] whether it's our job,

[00:43:07] whether it's our man,

[00:43:08] whether it's our,

[00:43:09] you know,

[00:43:09] just life in general.

[00:43:11] What's some advice?

[00:43:13] Well, here's the thing though.

[00:43:14] I think it's okay

[00:43:16] to be bothered by some things.

[00:43:18] Like, I think that's actually

[00:43:20] a grounding feeling

[00:43:21] in very many ways.

[00:43:23] You just don't want to get to the point

[00:43:25] where you start designing your life

[00:43:27] around people's comfort.

[00:43:28] That's it.

[00:43:29] And so for me,

[00:43:31] you know,

[00:43:32] I'm sort of a,

[00:43:33] you got to kind of take me as I am.

[00:43:35] That doesn't mean

[00:43:36] that there's not room to grow,

[00:43:37] improve and learn,

[00:43:38] but this is kind of it.

[00:43:39] And so,

[00:43:41] so I think it's,

[00:43:42] it's the,

[00:43:43] it's the seeking the approval part

[00:43:45] that we have to lose

[00:43:46] of,

[00:43:46] of,

[00:43:47] of trying to be a full person.

[00:43:49] Like,

[00:43:49] that's what it means

[00:43:50] to be unbothered.

[00:43:51] But I think

[00:43:52] it's also okay.

[00:43:54] And this is that part

[00:43:54] about vulnerability,

[00:43:55] which I think is important,

[00:43:56] especially for black women,

[00:43:57] because we don't have

[00:43:59] a lot of spaces

[00:44:00] that we can do that.

[00:44:01] It's why our girlfriend community

[00:44:03] means so much to us,

[00:44:04] because that's probably

[00:44:05] the only space,

[00:44:07] unless you are fortunate enough,

[00:44:09] you know,

[00:44:09] like myself to have found

[00:44:10] an incredible husband

[00:44:12] where I can do this with.

[00:44:13] But we need to find those spaces

[00:44:15] where we can say,

[00:44:16] let me tell you

[00:44:17] why I give all the fucks

[00:44:18] and why I give all the fucks

[00:44:19] about this.

[00:44:20] And I think that's fine.

[00:44:21] Like outrage,

[00:44:22] anger,

[00:44:24] resentment,

[00:44:25] these are all normal human emotions,

[00:44:27] but you need

[00:44:28] a healthy and positive way

[00:44:29] in which you can share those

[00:44:30] with people you trust

[00:44:31] who will be able to say like,

[00:44:33] okay,

[00:44:34] I understand you need to vent now.

[00:44:35] Because my husband,

[00:44:36] he asked me that sometimes.

[00:44:37] He was like,

[00:44:37] do you need me to solve this

[00:44:39] or you need me to vent?

[00:44:40] Or you need,

[00:44:40] you just need me to vent?

[00:44:41] I'd be like,

[00:44:41] I just need you to be there,

[00:44:42] be quiet and not.

[00:44:44] That's it.

[00:44:44] Like,

[00:44:45] I don't care what comes

[00:44:46] out of my mouth.

[00:44:47] Just be like,

[00:44:47] yep,

[00:44:48] yep,

[00:44:49] you right,

[00:44:50] yep,

[00:44:50] for real?

[00:44:51] Like,

[00:44:51] that's all I need.

[00:44:52] That's all I need.

[00:44:53] Where was the shift?

[00:44:54] I mean,

[00:44:54] you were talking about

[00:44:55] when you were younger,

[00:44:56] things were different.

[00:44:56] Can you pinpoint a time

[00:44:58] where there was kind of

[00:44:59] a paradigm shift

[00:45:00] in that attitude

[00:45:01] of not being a people pleaser anymore

[00:45:03] and really being able

[00:45:03] to think about

[00:45:04] what it is that I need

[00:45:05] and what's important for me?

[00:45:07] Well,

[00:45:08] I think what helps,

[00:45:09] at least professionally,

[00:45:10] what helps is that

[00:45:11] as you gain more leverage

[00:45:12] professionally

[00:45:12] and then you see

[00:45:14] how other people

[00:45:15] who actually have power,

[00:45:16] how they operate

[00:45:17] and navigate

[00:45:18] and then you start

[00:45:19] to think like,

[00:45:20] wait a minute,

[00:45:20] I could,

[00:45:21] I have some leverage.

[00:45:22] I could ask,

[00:45:23] maybe not for the same thing,

[00:45:24] but I could ask

[00:45:25] for something similar

[00:45:26] so I think for me

[00:45:27] it started with small wins,

[00:45:28] right?

[00:45:29] Like the smallest win

[00:45:30] I had came,

[00:45:31] one of the smaller wins

[00:45:33] I had came my first year

[00:45:34] that I was a professional journalist.

[00:45:36] This is late 90s.

[00:45:37] I was working in Raleigh

[00:45:38] at the News and Observer

[00:45:39] and I was a general assignment

[00:45:40] sports reporter

[00:45:42] and they had,

[00:45:43] I went,

[00:45:44] I interned there

[00:45:45] and I interned there

[00:45:46] because my buddy

[00:45:48] who's already down there,

[00:45:49] he told me,

[00:45:49] yo,

[00:45:49] they hire interns.

[00:45:50] I was like,

[00:45:51] okay,

[00:45:51] bet,

[00:45:51] I'm gonna come here.

[00:45:52] It's a good paper,

[00:45:53] great reputation.

[00:45:53] They were coming off

[00:45:54] winning a Pulitzer Prize

[00:45:56] so I go there

[00:45:57] and then somebody else

[00:45:58] on staff

[00:45:59] who was on the sports staff

[00:46:00] was like,

[00:46:01] yo,

[00:46:01] they didn't hire me

[00:46:02] until I was,

[00:46:03] I had been an intern

[00:46:04] for 11 months.

[00:46:05] I was like,

[00:46:05] 11 months?

[00:46:06] I was like,

[00:46:07] hell no.

[00:46:08] I was like,

[00:46:08] I ain't trying to be an intern

[00:46:09] for 11 months.

[00:46:12] No,

[00:46:13] no,

[00:46:13] this was a paid internship

[00:46:14] but that's the thing

[00:46:15] is that,

[00:46:16] you know,

[00:46:16] as an intern,

[00:46:17] you getting paid

[00:46:18] intern type of pay

[00:46:19] and I'm like,

[00:46:19] yo,

[00:46:20] I need a little bit more

[00:46:22] so I needed to create

[00:46:24] some leverage for myself

[00:46:25] so after I had

[00:46:28] kind of served

[00:46:28] the initial three months

[00:46:29] of the internship

[00:46:30] they came to me

[00:46:30] and said,

[00:46:31] hey,

[00:46:31] we want to extend you

[00:46:32] for a couple extra months

[00:46:33] take a look at you

[00:46:35] to see if you somebody

[00:46:35] that,

[00:46:36] you know,

[00:46:36] we want to hire full time

[00:46:37] and I was like,

[00:46:38] see,

[00:46:38] because old boy told me

[00:46:39] they made him wait 11 months

[00:46:43] I was like,

[00:46:43] I ain't gonna be on that plan

[00:46:44] I need to create some leverage

[00:46:45] so I went

[00:46:46] and I looked around

[00:46:48] and see if there's other places

[00:46:50] you know,

[00:46:50] that were hiring

[00:46:51] and it was,

[00:46:51] it was a newspaper

[00:46:52] in Savannah, Georgia

[00:46:53] called the Savannah Morning News

[00:46:55] they were looking for somebody

[00:46:56] to cover high school sports

[00:46:57] so I said,

[00:46:58] you know what,

[00:46:58] this is a good paper,

[00:46:59] good reputation

[00:47:00] if they offered me a job

[00:47:01] I would say yes

[00:47:02] but I need to get this job offer

[00:47:03] to play it against Raleigh

[00:47:05] where I really want to stay

[00:47:08] so I went down there

[00:47:09] interviewed in Savannah

[00:47:10] they offered me the job

[00:47:11] I came back to Raleigh

[00:47:12] they had just extended

[00:47:14] my internship

[00:47:14] I was maybe a month

[00:47:15] into the extension

[00:47:16] and I came to them

[00:47:17] and I was like,

[00:47:17] yeah,

[00:47:17] I got a job offer

[00:47:19] and basically

[00:47:20] if you don't match it

[00:47:21] I'm leaving

[00:47:23] and they were like,

[00:47:24] whoa,

[00:47:24] they didn't kind of

[00:47:25] see it coming

[00:47:26] and so they were like,

[00:47:27] let us think about it

[00:47:28] you know,

[00:47:28] we'll come back

[00:47:29] so they came back

[00:47:31] they matched the offer

[00:47:32] then I went back to Savannah

[00:47:33] and I was like,

[00:47:34] so they matched the offer

[00:47:35] y'all want me or no

[00:47:36] they threw some more money

[00:47:38] on there

[00:47:38] and then I went back to Raleigh

[00:47:40] and I was like,

[00:47:41] they,

[00:47:42] and then,

[00:47:43] but they let me know

[00:47:43] they were like,

[00:47:44] look,

[00:47:44] this best and final

[00:47:45] this is what we got

[00:47:46] Raleigh was the bigger paper

[00:47:47] it was the better newspaper

[00:47:49] so ultimately

[00:47:50] I wanted to stay in Raleigh

[00:47:51] I'd already been there

[00:47:52] four and a half months

[00:47:53] like I really liked the area

[00:47:56] and what that taught,

[00:47:58] that gave me a lot of agency

[00:47:59] and confidence professionally

[00:48:00] it's like I negotiated something

[00:48:02] it wasn't easy

[00:48:03] I had to kind of talk myself

[00:48:04] into it at different points

[00:48:05] like,

[00:48:06] what if I'm asking too much?

[00:48:07] What if I'm being a little too bold?

[00:48:09] Right.

[00:48:09] You know what I'm saying?

[00:48:10] And so,

[00:48:11] what was initially going to be

[00:48:13] a $22,000 salary

[00:48:15] got to 24-5

[00:48:16] and I was so excited about it.

[00:48:17] Look at you.

[00:48:18] I know,

[00:48:19] I was balling

[00:48:20] and especially since

[00:48:21] when I graduated

[00:48:22] from Michigan State

[00:48:23] the average salary

[00:48:24] for a newspaper journalist

[00:48:26] was $19,000 a year

[00:48:27] so I felt like

[00:48:28] I was winning

[00:48:29] I was like,

[00:48:29] yo,

[00:48:31] I'm winning

[00:48:32] so my point is that

[00:48:33] I love that.

[00:48:34] Yeah,

[00:48:34] small victories like that

[00:48:36] teach you about leverage

[00:48:38] and it teaches you

[00:48:39] about timing.

[00:48:39] But what you're saying

[00:48:40] is being unbothered

[00:48:41] isn't a passive thing

[00:48:43] it's about being proactive

[00:48:44] it's like you having

[00:48:46] your power

[00:48:47] allows you to be unbothered.

[00:48:49] It does

[00:48:50] and so

[00:48:50] every stop that I worked

[00:48:52] I started to understand

[00:48:55] the value of political capital

[00:48:57] within the building.

[00:48:58] You know,

[00:48:59] I tell young people

[00:48:59] this all the time

[00:49:00] as they try to design

[00:49:01] what their professional life

[00:49:02] looks like.

[00:49:03] I say,

[00:49:03] listen,

[00:49:04] you need somebody

[00:49:05] wherever you work

[00:49:06] that's going to talk

[00:49:07] you up for projects

[00:49:09] when you're not in the room.

[00:49:10] You need somebody

[00:49:11] who's a mentor

[00:49:12] that can be your sounding board

[00:49:14] that you could go to

[00:49:15] and just say,

[00:49:16] hey,

[00:49:17] this is pissing me off today

[00:49:18] such and such did this

[00:49:19] blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

[00:49:20] Then you also need a sponsor

[00:49:21] that means somebody

[00:49:22] that you directly

[00:49:23] want something from.

[00:49:24] Hey,

[00:49:25] can you put me in for a raise?

[00:49:26] Hey,

[00:49:26] can you put me up

[00:49:27] for this assignment?

[00:49:28] Can you put me up for this?

[00:49:29] Like,

[00:49:30] oh,

[00:49:30] those things are not

[00:49:31] all the same

[00:49:32] and so

[00:49:34] you know,

[00:49:34] wherever you go

[00:49:35] you have to understand

[00:49:36] how the politics

[00:49:37] of the place of business

[00:49:38] work.

[00:49:39] Like,

[00:49:40] who do I need

[00:49:40] to get in good with?

[00:49:41] Who do I need

[00:49:42] to create leverage with?

[00:49:43] And so,

[00:49:44] everywhere that I worked

[00:49:45] as a journalist,

[00:49:47] I was able to create leverage

[00:49:50] which gave me

[00:49:51] a sense of empowerment

[00:49:53] which gave me

[00:49:53] a sense of unbotheredness.

[00:49:55] So,

[00:49:56] being unbothered

[00:49:56] is not something

[00:49:57] that happens

[00:49:58] in a snap moment.

[00:49:59] It's something

[00:49:59] that happens

[00:50:00] over a series

[00:50:00] and a course of moments

[00:50:03] because the lessons

[00:50:04] that you learn

[00:50:04] in how to be unbothered

[00:50:05] at 23

[00:50:06] versus what you learn

[00:50:07] at 43

[00:50:07] are different.

[00:50:08] Now,

[00:50:08] when I was at ESPN

[00:50:09] and I left there,

[00:50:10] that was a different

[00:50:12] stage of unbothered

[00:50:13] because,

[00:50:14] you know,

[00:50:15] at that point

[00:50:16] when I took over

[00:50:17] SportsCenter,

[00:50:18] that was the biggest

[00:50:18] contract,

[00:50:19] the biggest television

[00:50:21] contract I'd ever had.

[00:50:22] I was making

[00:50:23] a lot of money.

[00:50:24] We were able

[00:50:25] to creatively

[00:50:27] do some things

[00:50:28] on our show.

[00:50:28] We were able to,

[00:50:29] you know,

[00:50:29] we probably had

[00:50:30] the most black producers

[00:50:31] on our SportsCenter

[00:50:32] but that's things

[00:50:33] that we were

[00:50:34] able to do

[00:50:35] because we did it

[00:50:36] with intention.

[00:50:37] We had the money

[00:50:38] and as you all know

[00:50:39] when you're front-facing talent

[00:50:40] and especially

[00:50:41] when they paid you,

[00:50:42] they have to honor that

[00:50:44] and that they're going

[00:50:45] to listen to what you say

[00:50:45] because they need you,

[00:50:46] it to be a success.

[00:50:48] So we had leverage

[00:50:49] and we used it

[00:50:50] and,

[00:50:51] you know,

[00:50:52] when I left ESPN,

[00:50:53] one of the things

[00:50:54] that was important to me

[00:50:55] was to leave

[00:50:56] before they asked me to

[00:50:57] or before

[00:50:58] they had the leverage

[00:50:59] and I didn't.

[00:51:00] So I left

[00:51:01] before we ever

[00:51:03] could have that conversation

[00:51:04] like,

[00:51:04] well,

[00:51:05] you know,

[00:51:05] we don't think

[00:51:05] this is working out.

[00:51:07] One thing

[00:51:08] I have definitely learned

[00:51:10] in this business

[00:51:11] is one,

[00:51:12] always leave with a check

[00:51:13] and two,

[00:51:13] leave before you're

[00:51:14] being asked to leave

[00:51:15] and if you're

[00:51:18] being real with yourself

[00:51:19] and self-aware,

[00:51:20] you understand,

[00:51:21] you know,

[00:51:22] kind of the dynamics

[00:51:23] and what's happening

[00:51:24] and,

[00:51:25] you know,

[00:51:25] I also wanted to leave

[00:51:26] at a point where

[00:51:27] I had some recognition

[00:51:29] in the marketplace

[00:51:30] so that I could go

[00:51:31] and do other things.

[00:51:32] Right.

[00:51:33] Doesn't happen to us always,

[00:51:34] doesn't happen to us perfectly

[00:51:35] but,

[00:51:36] again,

[00:51:36] this is part of

[00:51:37] sort of my journey

[00:51:38] into being unbothered.

[00:51:39] And you want to control

[00:51:40] your own narrative

[00:51:41] at that point,

[00:51:41] right?

[00:51:42] Definitely.

[00:51:43] Definitely.

[00:51:43] I love that.

[00:51:44] Well,

[00:51:44] another part of being unbothered

[00:51:46] is being able to

[00:51:47] at least speak your truth

[00:51:49] without an apology

[00:51:50] and I feel like

[00:51:51] you've been able

[00:51:52] to conquer that.

[00:51:54] I mean,

[00:51:55] and you're unapologetic

[00:51:56] about it

[00:51:57] and you're unafraid.

[00:51:58] Where did you get

[00:51:59] that fearlessness from?

[00:52:00] So I think,

[00:52:01] Lonnie,

[00:52:01] that's just perspective

[00:52:02] and one thing,

[00:52:04] I had my memoir,

[00:52:05] it came out in 2022,

[00:52:06] it's called Appeal

[00:52:08] and one of the things,

[00:52:10] you know,

[00:52:10] I think people were really surprised

[00:52:12] when they read it

[00:52:12] because I share a lot

[00:52:14] of personal things,

[00:52:15] I share a lot of childhood trauma

[00:52:17] that I experienced,

[00:52:18] my parents were both

[00:52:18] recovering drug addicts,

[00:52:20] you know,

[00:52:20] my mother is a rape survivor

[00:52:22] so I shared a lot of stuff in there

[00:52:25] and what the point,

[00:52:29] one of the points

[00:52:29] I tried to make in the book

[00:52:31] was that regardless

[00:52:33] of these professional ups

[00:52:35] and downs

[00:52:35] that I experienced,

[00:52:36] the reason why I'm able

[00:52:38] to sort of speak

[00:52:40] the way I speak

[00:52:41] is because I've seen

[00:52:42] so much worse,

[00:52:43] right?

[00:52:43] If the worst thing

[00:52:44] that ever happened to me

[00:52:45] in my professional career

[00:52:46] was Donald Trump

[00:52:47] telling America

[00:52:48] I should be fired,

[00:52:49] trust me,

[00:52:50] that wouldn't rank

[00:52:50] in the top 50 of my life

[00:52:51] it really wouldn't

[00:52:53] and so understanding that

[00:52:55] gives me more power

[00:52:58] and freedom

[00:52:58] to say the truths

[00:53:00] that I want to say

[00:53:01] is,

[00:53:02] it's,

[00:53:02] it's,

[00:53:03] it's,

[00:53:05] that's where

[00:53:05] that kind of comes from

[00:53:06] when you've seen

[00:53:07] your mother battle

[00:53:08] a horrible drug addiction

[00:53:09] and you had to see it up close

[00:53:11] and live it with her,

[00:53:12] it's like all this other stuff

[00:53:14] is small,

[00:53:15] you know,

[00:53:15] it's just kind of

[00:53:17] having seen the worst,

[00:53:19] I can not only appreciate

[00:53:20] the best,

[00:53:20] I can also appreciate

[00:53:21] what struggle is,

[00:53:23] you know,

[00:53:24] and that gives me

[00:53:26] a great amount

[00:53:27] of sort of self-confidence

[00:53:28] that I can face

[00:53:29] any situation

[00:53:30] and difficulty

[00:53:31] because I feel like

[00:53:32] that doesn't mean

[00:53:33] that there aren't

[00:53:34] challenges along the way

[00:53:35] but I feel like

[00:53:36] I was able to get through

[00:53:38] the worst moments

[00:53:39] of my life

[00:53:39] so I'm pretty sure

[00:53:41] I can survive

[00:53:42] whatever is coming

[00:53:43] my way.

[00:53:44] I mean,

[00:53:44] what is your faith

[00:53:45] or what do you do

[00:53:46] to keep yourself

[00:53:48] up?

[00:53:49] Well,

[00:53:50] I mean,

[00:53:50] I think

[00:53:52] I've always been

[00:53:52] like kind of

[00:53:53] a naturally

[00:53:54] optimistic person.

[00:53:55] I have a very,

[00:53:57] I think a very

[00:54:00] compelling mix

[00:54:00] of pessimism

[00:54:02] and optimism,

[00:54:03] right?

[00:54:03] It's like,

[00:54:04] you know,

[00:54:04] there's not much

[00:54:05] I don't think

[00:54:06] I can't do

[00:54:08] but at the same time

[00:54:09] I'm a realist

[00:54:10] and at the same time

[00:54:11] you know,

[00:54:12] I'm sort of like

[00:54:13] I carry this sort of

[00:54:15] equal weight

[00:54:16] of both of those

[00:54:17] that I'm able

[00:54:17] to turn on

[00:54:18] and turn off

[00:54:19] at any moment

[00:54:19] but I would say

[00:54:20] generally

[00:54:21] the things that

[00:54:23] keep me inspired

[00:54:24] is,

[00:54:25] you know,

[00:54:26] it's funny,

[00:54:27] I think I saw this

[00:54:28] somewhere,

[00:54:29] it might have been

[00:54:30] on,

[00:54:31] it wasn't in a greeting

[00:54:33] card but maybe

[00:54:33] it was on the internet

[00:54:34] somewhere that I saw it

[00:54:35] but if you think

[00:54:37] about all the things

[00:54:37] you pray for

[00:54:38] 90% of the time

[00:54:39] you already have them

[00:54:41] and so

[00:54:42] I think about that

[00:54:43] often,

[00:54:44] it's like

[00:54:44] if you would have

[00:54:45] ever told me

[00:54:46] I'd be living

[00:54:46] this life

[00:54:47] when I was

[00:54:48] a little girl

[00:54:49] writing in my diary

[00:54:50] growing up

[00:54:51] trying to figure out

[00:54:52] my voice even then

[00:54:54] I never would have

[00:54:55] guessed that,

[00:54:56] I never would have

[00:54:56] said I'm gonna

[00:54:57] host SportsCenter

[00:54:58] one day,

[00:54:59] be on ESPN,

[00:55:00] be someone that

[00:55:00] people know,

[00:55:01] be talking to

[00:55:03] you know,

[00:55:04] Lonnie Love,

[00:55:04] be talking to you,

[00:55:05] Erica,

[00:55:05] like I never would have

[00:55:06] guessed that

[00:55:07] that this was

[00:55:08] what was in store

[00:55:10] and because of that

[00:55:11] I think it allows me

[00:55:14] to have a great

[00:55:15] amount of faith

[00:55:15] in what's next

[00:55:16] and I always believe

[00:55:19] I am the annoying

[00:55:20] everything happens

[00:55:21] for a reason person

[00:55:22] I love that

[00:55:24] I know

[00:55:25] but a lot of people

[00:55:25] don't

[00:55:26] because they're just like

[00:55:27] if I get hit by this bus

[00:55:28] what reason was that

[00:55:29] and I'm like

[00:55:29] okay man

[00:55:30] I can't help you

[00:55:30] I don't know

[00:55:31] but I do always

[00:55:34] what has been the case

[00:55:35] in my life

[00:55:36] is you know

[00:55:37] it's partly why

[00:55:38] I don't believe

[00:55:39] in the whole

[00:55:40] closed door thing

[00:55:41] because I think

[00:55:41] there are some jobs

[00:55:42] you should be grateful

[00:55:43] you didn't get

[00:55:43] and there are some jobs

[00:55:45] that other people

[00:55:46] yeah that other people

[00:55:47] might have been better

[00:55:48] suited to do it

[00:55:49] than you were

[00:55:49] and that's okay

[00:55:50] and you will

[00:55:51] what's for you

[00:55:52] is for you

[00:55:52] it's kind of like

[00:55:53] sort of my

[00:55:54] North Star

[00:55:55] and everything

[00:55:56] so I think

[00:55:57] always having

[00:55:58] had that belief

[00:56:01] that God

[00:56:02] had me

[00:56:02] in the exact

[00:56:03] position

[00:56:04] I was supposed

[00:56:04] to be in

[00:56:06] it's why

[00:56:06] I don't

[00:56:07] necessarily

[00:56:09] well I'm ambitious

[00:56:10] in the sense

[00:56:11] that I take

[00:56:11] what I do

[00:56:12] seriously

[00:56:13] but I don't

[00:56:14] take myself

[00:56:14] too seriously

[00:56:16] but I'm not

[00:56:17] one of these

[00:56:17] people who

[00:56:18] every time

[00:56:19] somebody gets a job

[00:56:20] I think about

[00:56:21] why did

[00:56:21] why didn't I get that

[00:56:22] or it like

[00:56:23] I've never been

[00:56:24] that kind of person

[00:56:24] I'm generally happy

[00:56:25] for them

[00:56:26] that they got it

[00:56:27] especially if it's

[00:56:28] a black woman

[00:56:28] and it's something

[00:56:29] that allows us

[00:56:30] to be seen

[00:56:31] in a different

[00:56:31] and unique light

[00:56:32] or just allows us

[00:56:33] to be seen

[00:56:34] period

[00:56:35] and so I think

[00:56:36] because I'm

[00:56:36] sort of grounded

[00:56:37] and I know

[00:56:38] what's for me

[00:56:39] is for me

[00:56:40] it allows me

[00:56:41] to have

[00:56:42] an incredible

[00:56:42] amount of faith

[00:56:43] about whatever

[00:56:44] steps

[00:56:45] that I take next

[00:56:45] there's a common thread

[00:56:47] I think

[00:56:47] is why I love

[00:56:48] doing this show

[00:56:48] because we bring on

[00:56:49] so many amazing

[00:56:51] grown ass women

[00:56:52] right

[00:56:52] one of the common threads

[00:56:53] I've seen

[00:56:53] and maybe you can attest

[00:56:54] to this Lonnie

[00:56:55] is you know

[00:56:56] there's a crossroads

[00:56:57] that everyone has

[00:56:58] whether I mean

[00:56:58] like with your mom

[00:56:59] and all the things

[00:57:00] you had to go through

[00:57:00] a lot of people

[00:57:01] could use as an excuse

[00:57:03] not to move forward

[00:57:04] or not to be successful

[00:57:05] but all the women

[00:57:06] that we have

[00:57:07] on the show

[00:57:08] have had those

[00:57:09] similar moments

[00:57:10] but they use that

[00:57:10] to propel them

[00:57:11] and to empower them

[00:57:13] and so I just think

[00:57:14] it's so inspiring

[00:57:16] to hear these stories

[00:57:17] because you know

[00:57:18] it's the testament

[00:57:19] to grown ass women

[00:57:20] making choices

[00:57:21] and empowering themselves

[00:57:23] and being unbothered

[00:57:24] which to me

[00:57:25] has a new meaning now

[00:57:26] because it means

[00:57:28] unbothered as a verb

[00:57:29] like to go to you

[00:57:31] right?

[00:57:32] Yeah

[00:57:32] it's active

[00:57:34] like you said

[00:57:34] verbs are active

[00:57:35] it's active

[00:57:35] I mean

[00:57:36] yeah

[00:57:37] but what I will

[00:57:37] what I will say

[00:57:38] is this

[00:57:39] and granted

[00:57:40] when you're

[00:57:41] when you're going

[00:57:41] through the struggle

[00:57:42] when you're going

[00:57:42] through the challenge

[00:57:43] you're not nearly

[00:57:44] as enlightened

[00:57:45] only to after the fact

[00:57:46] where you can look back

[00:57:46] and say okay

[00:57:47] well I get the lesson

[00:57:48] I get the takeaway

[00:57:50] from that

[00:57:50] hindsight right

[00:57:51] but what I have

[00:57:53] inevitably found

[00:57:54] every

[00:57:56] what was considered

[00:57:58] to be my

[00:57:59] greatest obstacle

[00:58:00] or weakness

[00:58:01] or impediment

[00:58:02] wound up being

[00:58:03] my greatest strength

[00:58:04] every single time

[00:58:05] right

[00:58:06] so

[00:58:06] you know

[00:58:07] I talked

[00:58:08] I just mentioned

[00:58:09] to you guys

[00:58:10] about you know

[00:58:10] my mother and father

[00:58:12] you know

[00:58:13] grew up

[00:58:14] mostly poor

[00:58:16] you know

[00:58:16] my mom was on welfare

[00:58:17] all of that

[00:58:18] so coming from

[00:58:20] that situation

[00:58:20] all of that

[00:58:21] wound up being

[00:58:22] a great bonus

[00:58:23] because

[00:58:24] when I applied

[00:58:25] for college

[00:58:26] that financial aid

[00:58:27] package

[00:58:28] was hitting

[00:58:29] because

[00:58:29] my mama

[00:58:30] didn't make no money

[00:58:32] and it's true

[00:58:33] it's like

[00:58:34] I got

[00:58:35] I got the

[00:58:35] Rolls Royce

[00:58:36] Rolls Royce

[00:58:38] of Pail Grant

[00:58:38] because of my mama

[00:58:40] because my

[00:58:41] my mother

[00:58:42] it's a true story

[00:58:43] she would tell you

[00:58:44] you know

[00:58:45] she had been

[00:58:46] dating somebody

[00:58:47] kind of on and off

[00:58:48] but they were

[00:58:48] mostly on

[00:58:49] and they were

[00:58:50] gonna get married

[00:58:52] and I told her

[00:58:53] I was like

[00:58:54] I'm gonna need you

[00:58:55] to stay a little

[00:58:55] poor for a little

[00:58:56] longer

[00:58:57] because I need

[00:58:58] this financial aid

[00:58:59] package

[00:59:00] I was like

[00:59:00] oh you being poor

[00:59:01] is great

[00:59:01] because when I saw

[00:59:02] you know

[00:59:03] because I was able

[00:59:03] to get Pail Grant

[00:59:04] work study

[00:59:05] all of that

[00:59:06] all of that

[00:59:06] all of that

[00:59:07] because my mama

[00:59:08] was on welfare

[00:59:08] like I was able

[00:59:09] to get all of that

[00:59:11] I was in the band

[00:59:12] every day

[00:59:12] you know what I'm saying

[00:59:14] I got an academic

[00:59:15] scholarship

[00:59:16] man I came out

[00:59:17] of college

[00:59:18] my debt was

[00:59:19] less than like

[00:59:20] twelve thousand dollars

[00:59:21] right

[00:59:22] and it's just like

[00:59:23] it was nothing

[00:59:24] and mostly that was

[00:59:25] just for

[00:59:25] you know

[00:59:26] room and board

[00:59:27] or something like that

[00:59:28] like I had

[00:59:29] very little debt

[00:59:30] leaving

[00:59:31] coming out of school

[00:59:32] so again

[00:59:33] that poverty

[00:59:34] is generally

[00:59:35] a weakness

[00:59:36] poverty is not

[00:59:37] a weakness

[00:59:37] when you apply

[00:59:38] for things

[00:59:39] that helps

[00:59:39] low income

[00:59:40] students

[00:59:40] that's what I mean

[00:59:42] right

[00:59:42] and you know

[00:59:43] through

[00:59:43] there was a kind

[00:59:44] of a consistent

[00:59:46] pattern with that

[00:59:46] so when

[00:59:48] when I worked

[00:59:49] in Detroit

[00:59:49] at the Detroit

[00:59:50] Free Press

[00:59:51] I was a beat writer

[00:59:52] covering college

[00:59:53] football

[00:59:53] and college

[00:59:53] basketball

[00:59:54] I'm 23 years old

[00:59:55] some people say

[00:59:57] like you're kind

[00:59:57] of green

[00:59:58] you're inexperienced

[00:59:59] it wound up

[01:00:01] being my biggest

[01:00:02] asset

[01:00:02] because all the

[01:00:03] players I'm covering

[01:00:04] we in the same

[01:00:05] age group

[01:00:06] they in their

[01:00:07] 20s too

[01:00:07] right

[01:00:08] so they see me

[01:00:09] and then you're

[01:00:11] covering mostly

[01:00:11] black players

[01:00:12] on top of that

[01:00:13] they see a young

[01:00:14] sister in the

[01:00:14] locker room

[01:00:15] or at you know

[01:00:16] at the media

[01:00:17] sessions

[01:00:17] they want to

[01:00:18] talk to me

[01:00:18] they're like yo

[01:00:19] you understand

[01:00:20] you get the

[01:00:21] same music

[01:00:21] I get

[01:00:22] you know

[01:00:22] one of the

[01:00:23] best stories

[01:00:24] I wrote

[01:00:24] was about

[01:00:25] you know

[01:00:26] I covered

[01:00:27] Michigan State

[01:00:27] won a national

[01:00:28] title in 2000

[01:00:30] and you know

[01:00:31] one of the things

[01:00:31] they used to do

[01:00:32] in the huddle

[01:00:33] was they used to

[01:00:33] say these Tupac

[01:00:34] lyrics in the huddle

[01:00:35] and nobody else

[01:00:36] on the beat

[01:00:37] that was covering

[01:00:38] Michigan State

[01:00:38] knew the lyrics

[01:00:40] they didn't

[01:00:41] understand it

[01:00:42] but I did

[01:00:42] and it wound up

[01:00:43] being a great story

[01:00:44] so it's again

[01:00:45] being able to turn

[01:00:46] that sort of

[01:00:47] weakness

[01:00:48] that perceived

[01:00:49] weakness

[01:00:50] into an

[01:00:51] incredible strength

[01:00:52] so I think

[01:00:53] maybe

[01:00:53] as you hear

[01:00:55] the grown ass

[01:00:56] women you have

[01:00:57] on this podcast

[01:00:57] I'm sure

[01:00:58] many of them

[01:00:59] have been able

[01:01:00] to flip it

[01:01:00] like that

[01:01:01] like oh okay

[01:01:01] so my race

[01:01:03] and gender

[01:01:03] I suppose

[01:01:04] to work

[01:01:04] against me

[01:01:04] let me flip

[01:01:05] that and tell

[01:01:05] you how

[01:01:06] I'm gonna make

[01:01:06] it work for me

[01:01:07] absolutely

[01:01:07] I love it

[01:01:08] and you know

[01:01:09] this has been

[01:01:09] a great conversation

[01:01:10] but before

[01:01:12] we let you go

[01:01:13] Jamil

[01:01:14] because you're

[01:01:14] just so prolific

[01:01:15] we could talk

[01:01:16] to you forever

[01:01:17] understanding

[01:01:18] same

[01:01:19] same

[01:01:20] can you

[01:01:21] talk to

[01:01:22] the sisters

[01:01:23] right now

[01:01:23] it's two questions

[01:01:25] that I want

[01:01:25] to really ask

[01:01:26] one is

[01:01:27] explaining

[01:01:27] to others

[01:01:28] that are not

[01:01:29] black women

[01:01:30] why they were

[01:01:31] upset

[01:01:32] and two

[01:01:33] to black

[01:01:34] sisters

[01:01:34] maybe something

[01:01:36] we can tell

[01:01:36] them to encourage

[01:01:37] them

[01:01:38] yeah so

[01:01:40] the people

[01:01:41] who don't

[01:01:41] understand

[01:01:41] why we took

[01:01:42] this election

[01:01:43] so personally

[01:01:43] is because

[01:01:44] and even

[01:01:45] though I get

[01:01:47] it from a macro

[01:01:48] standpoint

[01:01:48] we shouldn't

[01:01:48] see it this way

[01:01:49] but I know

[01:01:51] why it hurts

[01:01:51] because it felt

[01:01:52] like a rejection

[01:01:53] of us

[01:01:54] and who we are

[01:01:54] like we've all

[01:01:55] been in Kamala

[01:01:56] Harris's position

[01:01:57] in the sense

[01:01:58] where you were

[01:02:00] overqualified

[01:02:00] to do something

[01:02:01] and here comes

[01:02:04] someone else

[01:02:04] with not

[01:02:05] even nearly

[01:02:07] the same

[01:02:07] qualifications

[01:02:08] that you had

[01:02:09] and yet

[01:02:10] you're like

[01:02:11] but we in the

[01:02:11] same place

[01:02:12] fighting for the

[01:02:12] same thing

[01:02:13] like how did

[01:02:13] this happen

[01:02:14] so there was

[01:02:15] there was that

[01:02:16] part of it

[01:02:16] and a lot

[01:02:17] of the narratives

[01:02:18] the tropes

[01:02:19] the her being

[01:02:21] continually called

[01:02:22] by President

[01:02:23] Elect Trump

[01:02:25] low IQ

[01:02:26] you know

[01:02:26] that that was

[01:02:28] something that

[01:02:28] stings

[01:02:28] not because

[01:02:29] we think

[01:02:29] we're low IQ

[01:02:30] but because

[01:02:31] we know

[01:02:31] that that is

[01:02:32] a continual

[01:02:33] narrative

[01:02:34] that black

[01:02:34] people have

[01:02:35] had to fight

[01:02:36] against all

[01:02:37] the time

[01:02:37] is that we're

[01:02:38] less than

[01:02:39] you know

[01:02:40] it's one thing

[01:02:41] to say

[01:02:41] oh her policy

[01:02:42] is bad

[01:02:42] or I don't

[01:02:43] like this

[01:02:43] you know

[01:02:44] this proposal

[01:02:45] she's made

[01:02:46] but to call

[01:02:46] her low IQ

[01:02:47] was a

[01:02:48] particularly

[01:02:50] specific

[01:02:51] purposeful

[01:02:52] thing

[01:02:52] and we

[01:02:53] all can

[01:02:54] relate to that

[01:02:55] on some

[01:02:56] level

[01:02:57] and I

[01:02:57] think

[01:02:57] it was

[01:02:59] the hurt

[01:03:00] of not

[01:03:01] just her

[01:03:01] losing the

[01:03:02] election

[01:03:02] it was

[01:03:02] the hurt

[01:03:03] of who

[01:03:03] aligned

[01:03:04] against

[01:03:05] her

[01:03:05] because

[01:03:06] these

[01:03:06] are

[01:03:06] in some

[01:03:07] cases

[01:03:07] these

[01:03:08] are

[01:03:08] people

[01:03:08] that we

[01:03:08] have stood

[01:03:09] on the front

[01:03:09] lines for

[01:03:10] that didn't

[01:03:11] fight for us

[01:03:11] in the same

[01:03:12] way that we

[01:03:12] fought for

[01:03:13] them

[01:03:13] so it

[01:03:14] was just

[01:03:14] sort of

[01:03:14] like a

[01:03:16] compounding

[01:03:17] rejection

[01:03:17] that black

[01:03:18] women felt

[01:03:18] and so

[01:03:19] what I would

[01:03:20] say

[01:03:20] is that

[01:03:21] one

[01:03:21] it's okay

[01:03:23] for us

[01:03:23] to regroup

[01:03:23] and by regroup

[01:03:24] I'm sure

[01:03:25] you guys

[01:03:25] have heard

[01:03:26] it there

[01:03:26] has been

[01:03:26] like that

[01:03:27] deep

[01:03:27] sideline

[01:03:28] you gave

[01:03:29] me

[01:03:30] that's how

[01:03:30] a lot

[01:03:30] of us feel

[01:03:31] like it's

[01:03:31] above me

[01:03:32] now y'all

[01:03:32] got it

[01:03:33] y'all got

[01:03:33] it

[01:03:33] y'all got

[01:03:34] it

[01:03:34] don't ask

[01:03:35] us for

[01:03:36] the shit

[01:03:36] we treat

[01:03:36] you like

[01:03:37] our mama

[01:03:37] treated us

[01:03:38] when we went

[01:03:38] in the grocery

[01:03:39] store

[01:03:39] don't look

[01:03:40] at shit

[01:03:40] don't touch

[01:03:40] shit

[01:03:41] don't ask

[01:03:41] for shit

[01:03:42] period

[01:03:45] and you

[01:03:46] know we

[01:03:47] know we're

[01:03:47] resilient people

[01:03:48] we're resilient

[01:03:49] women we will

[01:03:50] we will resume

[01:03:52] our roles

[01:03:52] if you will

[01:03:53] to some degree

[01:03:54] but we need a minute

[01:03:54] but we need a minute

[01:03:56] and we're ready

[01:03:57] and we're ready

[01:03:58] and guess what

[01:03:59] if some of us

[01:03:59] decide that we

[01:04:00] don't feel like

[01:04:01] going back

[01:04:01] don't go back

[01:04:02] it's okay

[01:04:03] right

[01:04:04] and so I think

[01:04:05] in this moment

[01:04:06] the most encouraging

[01:04:08] thing I can say

[01:04:09] to black women

[01:04:10] everywhere

[01:04:10] is give yourself

[01:04:11] permission

[01:04:12] to feel however

[01:04:13] the fuck you

[01:04:14] want to feel

[01:04:15] right now

[01:04:15] you have

[01:04:16] you have

[01:04:17] permission

[01:04:17] you have

[01:04:18] earned the right

[01:04:19] to feel pissed off

[01:04:20] you've earned

[01:04:21] the right to feel

[01:04:22] like I don't want

[01:04:22] to be bothered

[01:04:23] you have earned

[01:04:24] all of that

[01:04:25] and so it's okay

[01:04:26] to stick in that

[01:04:28] for a minute

[01:04:30] and it's alright

[01:04:31] to even get

[01:04:32] a little more

[01:04:33] insular

[01:04:33] and say

[01:04:33] you know what

[01:04:34] I'm gonna come

[01:04:35] out of this

[01:04:35] renewed about

[01:04:36] my community

[01:04:37] my household

[01:04:38] and I ain't

[01:04:39] worried about

[01:04:39] nobody else

[01:04:40] it's alright

[01:04:40] to be selfish

[01:04:41] give yourself

[01:04:42] permission

[01:04:42] to do that

[01:04:43] as well

[01:04:43] because one

[01:04:44] of the assignments

[01:04:45] that we took

[01:04:46] on

[01:04:47] that was

[01:04:48] definitely

[01:04:48] unpaid labor

[01:04:51] we ain't

[01:04:52] gotta go

[01:04:52] we ain't

[01:04:52] got to save

[01:04:53] nobody

[01:04:54] but ourselves

[01:04:54] and the people

[01:04:56] that we care

[01:04:56] about

[01:04:57] we gotta put

[01:04:57] our oxygen

[01:04:58] masks on

[01:04:59] first now

[01:04:59] we do

[01:05:00] we do

[01:05:00] and you know

[01:05:01] the analogy

[01:05:02] I often use

[01:05:04] and I'll wrap it

[01:05:04] with this

[01:05:05] is like

[01:05:05] I ain't trying

[01:05:06] to go out

[01:05:06] like big mama

[01:05:07] on soul food

[01:05:08] and I don't mean

[01:05:10] and I don't mean

[01:05:11] the diabetes part

[01:05:12] I don't mean

[01:05:13] the diabetes part

[01:05:14] because that's

[01:05:14] happening

[01:05:15] that's right

[01:05:16] I don't mean

[01:05:16] that part

[01:05:17] the part

[01:05:18] that I mean

[01:05:18] if y'all remember

[01:05:19] when she was

[01:05:20] in the kitchen

[01:05:21] and the fire

[01:05:23] was burning her arm

[01:05:24] and she didn't

[01:05:25] notice

[01:05:26] right

[01:05:27] I ain't trying

[01:05:28] to go out

[01:05:28] like that

[01:05:28] where

[01:05:29] I become

[01:05:30] so consumed

[01:05:31] with helping

[01:05:32] everybody else

[01:05:33] my arm on fire

[01:05:34] and I don't even

[01:05:35] know it

[01:05:35] so

[01:05:36] black women

[01:05:37] we ain't going

[01:05:38] out like big mama

[01:05:39] on soul food

[01:05:40] at all

[01:05:41] that is

[01:05:42] chef's kiss

[01:05:43] perfect analogy

[01:05:44] perfectly said

[01:05:45] Jamil

[01:05:46] thank you so much

[01:05:47] for this conversation

[01:05:48] it was

[01:05:49] certainly needed

[01:05:50] definitely

[01:05:51] and to our listeners

[01:05:51] be sure to check out

[01:05:53] Above the Fold

[01:05:54] on True TV

[01:05:55] and her podcast

[01:05:57] Politics

[01:05:58] on iHeart

[01:05:59] wherever you get

[01:06:00] your podcasts

[01:06:00] and when we come back

[01:06:01] we'll have the

[01:06:02] takeaway with Lonnie

[01:06:03] this is Grown Ass Women Talking

[01:06:05] thanks Jamil

[01:06:11] welcome back

[01:06:12] now it's the time

[01:06:13] where Lonnie

[01:06:13] breaks the episode

[01:06:14] down for us

[01:06:15] it's called

[01:06:16] The Takeaway

[01:06:16] Lonnie

[01:06:17] what did we learn

[01:06:18] today?

[01:06:19] I mean

[01:06:20] we learned

[01:06:20] that Jamil Hill

[01:06:21] is the shit

[01:06:22] that's what we

[01:06:23] learned today

[01:06:24] and

[01:06:25] she gave some

[01:06:26] really good advice

[01:06:27] about being

[01:06:28] unbothered

[01:06:29] the thing that

[01:06:30] I took away

[01:06:31] mostly from it

[01:06:32] is that

[01:06:33] there are things

[01:06:34] that you should

[01:06:34] be bothered by

[01:06:35] but the majority

[01:06:37] of things

[01:06:37] you don't even

[01:06:39] need to worry

[01:06:39] about it

[01:06:40] and being unbothered

[01:06:41] really means

[01:06:42] putting yourself

[01:06:42] first

[01:06:43] so even

[01:06:44] though

[01:06:44] you may

[01:06:44] be that

[01:06:45] mother

[01:06:45] you may

[01:06:46] be that

[01:06:46] wife

[01:06:47] you may

[01:06:47] be that

[01:06:48] hard

[01:06:48] co-worker

[01:06:49] you gotta

[01:06:50] look and

[01:06:51] ask yourself

[01:06:51] the real

[01:06:52] question

[01:06:52] of

[01:06:54] what is

[01:06:55] this doing

[01:06:55] to me

[01:06:55] what is

[01:06:56] this doing

[01:06:57] to me

[01:06:57] internally

[01:06:57] what is

[01:06:58] this

[01:06:58] is this

[01:06:59] situation

[01:07:00] or what

[01:07:00] I'm about

[01:07:01] to do

[01:07:01] is it

[01:07:02] going to

[01:07:02] stress

[01:07:03] me out

[01:07:03] or hurt

[01:07:04] me

[01:07:04] or something

[01:07:05] like that

[01:07:05] and then

[01:07:06] that way

[01:07:06] you can

[01:07:07] take action

[01:07:08] and so

[01:07:10] like I said

[01:07:11] she's just

[01:07:12] a great

[01:07:12] guest

[01:07:12] I'm so

[01:07:13] honored

[01:07:14] that she

[01:07:15] came on

[01:07:16] to take

[01:07:17] the time

[01:07:17] and she's

[01:07:18] always working

[01:07:18] and she's

[01:07:19] so inspiring

[01:07:20] and so

[01:07:20] encouraging

[01:07:21] so I just

[01:07:22] love that

[01:07:22] about her

[01:07:23] and that

[01:07:23] was my

[01:07:23] takeaway

[01:07:24] you have

[01:07:25] any final

[01:07:25] thoughts

[01:07:25] I do

[01:07:26] I agree

[01:07:27] with you

[01:07:27] 100%

[01:07:27] as always

[01:07:28] and I just

[01:07:30] think she was

[01:07:31] the perfect

[01:07:31] guest for this

[01:07:32] time

[01:07:32] we needed

[01:07:32] someone to

[01:07:33] kind of

[01:07:34] talk us

[01:07:34] through

[01:07:34] our feelings

[01:07:35] about the

[01:07:36] election

[01:07:37] and everything

[01:07:37] so I

[01:07:38] love that

[01:07:38] she gave

[01:07:39] us a

[01:07:39] mandate

[01:07:39] as women

[01:07:40] of color

[01:07:41] to not

[01:07:42] give a fuck

[01:07:42] and to be

[01:07:42] unbothered

[01:07:43] but I also

[01:07:43] learned

[01:07:44] that being

[01:07:45] unbothered

[01:07:46] is a verb

[01:07:46] because it's

[01:07:47] like it's

[01:07:48] not like

[01:07:48] oh fuck

[01:07:49] everybody

[01:07:50] we're not

[01:07:50] involved

[01:07:50] it's like

[01:07:51] no I'm

[01:07:52] going to

[01:07:52] actively

[01:07:52] take care

[01:07:53] of myself

[01:07:54] and put

[01:07:55] myself

[01:07:55] first

[01:07:55] and not

[01:07:56] get burnt

[01:07:57] on the

[01:07:57] stove

[01:07:57] like in

[01:07:58] Soul Food

[01:08:00] you didn't

[01:08:01] even know

[01:08:02] I watched

[01:08:04] Soul Food

[01:08:05] I have

[01:08:08] friends who

[01:08:08] were writers

[01:08:09] on Soul Food

[01:08:09] I know

[01:08:10] here we go

[01:08:12] this is our

[01:08:12] final episode

[01:08:13] of the season

[01:08:14] I just want to

[01:08:15] say to all

[01:08:16] our listeners

[01:08:16] thank you for

[01:08:17] a phenomenal

[01:08:18] first season

[01:08:19] you know

[01:08:20] you can still

[01:08:21] listen to

[01:08:21] the other

[01:08:22] past episodes

[01:08:24] you can still

[01:08:25] follow us

[01:08:25] encourage other

[01:08:26] people to

[01:08:27] follow us

[01:08:27] but thank you

[01:08:28] all so much

[01:08:29] for this

[01:08:30] great season

[01:08:30] thanks again

[01:08:31] to Jamil Hill

[01:08:32] for joining us

[01:08:34] happy holidays

[01:08:35] love to everyone

[01:08:37] grown-ass women

[01:08:38] talking is a

[01:08:39] collaboration between

[01:08:40] true love

[01:08:40] productions

[01:08:41] Dunnigan Lane

[01:08:42] productions

[01:08:42] and heart

[01:08:43] media productions

[01:08:44] our executive

[01:08:45] producers are

[01:08:46] Lonnie Love

[01:08:47] Erica Montolfo

[01:08:48] and Siege

[01:08:49] Pokehorn

[01:08:50] this episode

[01:08:51] was produced

[01:08:52] by Siege

[01:08:52] Pokehorn

[01:08:53] and edited

[01:08:54] by Nicholas

[01:08:54] Proffert

[01:08:55] our music

[01:08:56] is by

[01:08:56] Nicole Curtis

[01:08:57] special thanks

[01:08:58] to Elizabeth

[01:08:59] Munch

[01:08:59] you